Paws In Our Hearts
You are not alone here.
Most people arriving here are having one of the worst weeks of their life. These aren't rules for their own sake — they exist so that someone writing at 3am about the decision they had to make on Tuesday gets met with kindness rather than an argument.
Some people write pages. Some post once and never again. Some are angry, some are numb, some are relieved and feel terrible about that. All of it is normal. Nobody here needs to be told they're grieving too much, too long, or in the wrong order.
It's the most common thing people say and one of the most painful to hear. If someone asks what helped you, answer honestly. If they haven't asked, don't.
This is the one we enforce most firmly. People come here carrying enormous guilt about a choice made with incomplete information under terrible pressure. Suggesting they acted too soon, waited too long, or should have tried something else does real harm. Don't do it, even gently, even if they ask — especially if they ask.
Please don't diagnose, suggest treatments, or tell someone what their vet should have done. If a pet is still alive and someone is worried, the right answer is always "please ring your vet."
Sudden or traumatic deaths are part of this and you're allowed to write about them. Just put a line at the top — "this describes an accident" — so someone barely holding together can decide whether to read on.
People post anonymously for good reasons. Don't try to work out who someone is, and don't repeat what they've written anywhere else with identifying detail attached.
Don't post photos or stories about someone else's pet without asking them, and don't post a private conversation. That includes screenshots.
Stories are read by a person before they appear. Forum posts and comments aren't pre-approved, so those rely on us and on you spotting problems.
When something crosses a line, we'd usually rather have a quiet word than delete it — most breaches here are well-meant rather than malicious. Repeated or deliberate harm gets removed, and accounts can be suspended. We don't publish a warnings scoreboard; grief is not a place for procedure.
If a story is declined, it's normally for one of the reasons above, and we'll tell you which. You're welcome to edit and resubmit.
If you see something that shouldn't be here — or something that worries you about the person who wrote it — email support@pawsinourhearts.com with a link. Reports stay private; we won't tell anyone who raised it.
If you think someone is in immediate danger, please contact emergency services in their country rather than waiting for us.
What you write stays yours. You can edit or delete your stories, memorials and letters at any time, or ask us to remove your account entirely — see the privacy policy for how that works.
These guidelines will change as the community grows. If something here seems wrong or missing, tell us — this is a place we're building with the people using it.