Things people ask.

Yes, and the intensity often surprises people. You saw them every day, usually every few hours. They structured your mornings and your evenings, and the relationship almost certainly had none of the difficulty that human relationships carry. Grief tracks attachment, not the social status of what you lost. If people around you seem puzzled by how hard this has hit, that reflects their experience rather than anything about yours.

There is no standard length, and anyone who gives you a number is guessing. Most people find the acute stage — where it is difficult to function normally — eases over weeks to a few months, while missing them continues far longer and arrives in waves. Anniversaries, the first snow, the sound of a similar bark can all bring it back years later. That is not a relapse or a failure to move on. It is simply what missing someone looks like over time.

Almost everyone does. Guilt after euthanasia is one of the most common experiences in pet loss, and it usually takes one of two forms: that you acted too soon, or that you waited too long. People who decided at very different points reach both conclusions with equal certainty, which tells you it is grief talking rather than an accurate assessment. You made an impossible decision with incomplete information, and then you stayed.
Read more about euthanasia guilt →

No. Relief after a long illness is extremely common and says nothing about how much you loved them. If you were getting up through the night, managing medication, cleaning up, and watching them struggle, part of you wanted it to stop. Caregivers of dying humans report exactly the same thing. Relief that the suffering ended and grief that they are gone sit alongside each other perfectly well.

Only when you want one for its own sake, rather than to fill a gap. There is no correct waiting period. Some people find another animal in the house helps almost immediately; others find it unbearable for a year or more, and both are normal. What tends not to work is being pushed into it by well-meaning people, or getting one that reminds you of the pet you lost and then resenting it for not being them.

Use the word "died" rather than "went to sleep" or "we lost her" — young children are literal thinkers, and softer phrasing tends to create fears about bedtime or questions about why nobody is looking. Say it plainly, let them react, and answer their questions simply. Letting them see you cry teaches them that grief is something people can talk about.
What to say, age by age →

Yes. Animals who lived with a companion frequently show changes after a death — searching the house, going off food, becoming clingy or unusually quiet, sleeping in different places. Keep their routine as steady as you can, give them a bit more attention than usual, and speak to your vet if they stop eating for more than a day or two. Most settle within a few weeks.

Almost entirely, yes. Reading stories, making a memorial, adding photos, moments and letters, lighting candles, leaving messages on someone else's memorial, joining the forums and talking to Luna are all free and will stay free. You can print any of it from your browser for nothing as well. Two things are paid, both optional: a book you can buy if you want it, and Memorial Plus, a one off upgrade that adds inviting other people to contribute their own memories, far more photo capacity, a QR code, a short film, print quality PDFs and an everlasting light. Nothing you have already written is ever moved behind either of them.

Things the free version cannot do at all, rather than tidier versions of what you already have. The main one is other people: you can invite up to twenty people who knew them to add their own memories and photographs, which you read before anything appears. It also raises photos from six to a hundred, gives their page a QR code and short link for a garden marker or an urn, makes a short film from their photographs, lights a permanent candle showing how long it has been burning, and produces print quality PDFs of the card, the timeline and the letters. One payment, not a subscription.

Ask us and we will refund you. There is no time limit and you do not have to give a reason. When you buy a keepsake you tick a box saying you want it straight away, which is a legal requirement for anything delivered instantly and formally ends the usual 14 day cancellation window. In practice it changes nothing. Refunding also does not delete anything: their card, their letters and every moment you added stay exactly where they are on their memorial. You only lose the ability to download the PDF again, and if you change your mind about that too, tell us.

No. Payments are handled by PayPal, and card details are entered on PayPal's own pages, never on ours. We never see or store them. PayPal tells us that a payment was completed, along with the email address used, and we use that to unlock the download on your account. If the email you paid with is different from the one on your account here, which happens often, the payment waits for us to match it by hand rather than being lost.

Not to read. You can browse every story, visit memorials and light a candle without signing up. You need a free account to write anything — a story, a memorial, a forum post — mainly so that what you write belongs to you and only you can edit or remove it.

Yes. When you submit a story there is a box you can tick to have it appear as "Anonymous" instead of your name. Site administrators can still see which account submitted it, because we need that to moderate, but other members cannot. You can also change your displayed name to something other than your real one in your profile.

Not always, and it is worth knowing why. A story goes live straight away if it passes an automatic check for links, email addresses, phone numbers and other ways to contact you, which we do not publish. We built it that way so that someone writing at three in the morning, on the other side of the world, does not have to wait for us to be awake. If the check finds something, it shows you the exact words so you can change them, or you can ask for a person to read it instead. A person also reads any story that suggests the writer may be having a very hard time. You will get an email when yours is live.

All of them. Dogs and cats, but equally rabbits, birds, horses, rats, reptiles, fish and anything else. So does a pet you had for two months, one you rehomed, and one who went missing and never came home. Nobody here has to justify the size of their grief or the species it attached to.

Yes, and plenty of people do. There is no time limit. Some members create memorials for animals they lost decades ago, sometimes because they never had anywhere to put it at the time. The memorial page takes their name, dates, photos and whatever you want to write about them.

No. Luna is an AI companion, available at any hour, built to listen and respond to grief without judgement. She is not a counsellor, not a therapist, and not a person. She can be genuinely useful at three in the morning when there is nobody to talk to, but she cannot assess how much danger you are in and she cannot get help to you.

Your conversation is held in your own browser for that session only and is not stored in our database. To generate a reply, your message is sent to Anthropic, the company providing the AI. Before that happens, the message is checked on our own server for words suggesting you may be thinking about harming yourself — if that check matches, your message is not sent to the AI at all, and you get crisis helpline details instead.
How your information is handled →

Please do not wait for a reply from anyone here. Nobody is monitoring the site around the clock. There are helplines open at any hour, including lines specifically for pet bereavement, across the UK, US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services.
Crisis support and helplines →

Yes, at any time and without giving a reason. You can edit or remove your own stories and memorials, or email us and we will do it for you. Private letters written on a memorial page are deleted permanently when you remove them.

Yes. Email us and we will remove your account, your joining answers, your private letters, and your stories and memorials. If you would rather a memorial stayed published even after you leave, tell us and we will keep it — some people want their companion remembered regardless. Deleted information may persist in backups for a short period before those rotate.

We do not sell your personal information and never will. The privacy policy is specific about exactly who receives what, including our host, our email provider, and Anthropic for Luna conversations. If advertising is running on the site at any point, that policy says so plainly and explains how to turn personalised adverts off.